The Beginning...Well Actually Somewhere in the Middle

This is my first posting to my blog. I'm not quite sure what it's all about or where it's going, I just know I'm On my Way.

My hope, my desire, is that my small voice in the sea of so many other voices will encourage others to keep pedaling, climbing and moving forward in their lives no matter how fast or slow the process is. This journey we are all on is meant to be lived, enjoyed and experienced with ourselves and others. I hope we can all remember and see that even our smallest step or slowest climb is a victory.

Here in the beginning, I want to say very proudly or maybe just loudly, that I do not have any of life's mysteries figured out. I am a forty-six year old woman, who at times still feels like a girl, learning that it is a good thing that I take space in this world and to not let my fear keep me from learning, loving and living.

I married an amazing, kind, loving, talented man 26 years ago and I can honestly say that young, naive choice to marry him at the age of 20 is still one of the best decisions I have made in my life. We have been blessed with 3 wonderful children, a son-in-law and a chocolate lab who has taken away my ability to have pride in our lawn. I am thankful and blessed by my family.

I find myself after years of diapers, lunches, school activities, soccer, flute lessons, school plays..., wondering what is next. I told a friend the other day that I no longer have my children and their busyness to hide behind or keep me distracted. I'm beginning to have just me and my thoughts and for someone who has struggled with her own value, this is a very scary thing.

The funny thing is, I believe God has used a  bike to give me the courage to try this blog. My husband has always loved to ride bikes. Riding his racing bike was one of the things he did when we first met. He has taught me the nuances of bike racing and we drive our kids crazy every July as we watch the Tour de France over and over. They just don't understand how we can watch the same race 4 times a day. We've stopped trying to explain and they just chalk it up to "there they go again".

Kevin, my husband, stopped riding his road bike after we were married as the demands of life took over. He even sold it.  After Kevin had a heart attack 3 years ago we knew he needed to find a way to exercise that he would enjoy and be able to sustain. Bicycling has been the only type of exercise that he loves, so he went and found a bike to ride. This is the day my journey changed direction ever so subtly.

As we were at the bike store buying his bike, I very innocently said, "Maybe someday I will get a road bike and we can ride together".  He looked at me and said, "How about today?"

So it began. My first ever road bike with clip in pedals. I remember being so scared when I had both feet clipped in and I was coming to a stop. What if I couldn't get my feet out? I would fall. Every one would see. I don't know about you, but I have a really hard time being seen, especially being seen as a failure. But that's just it, every time I clipped into those pedals, no matter how unsteady or sure I felt, I wasn't failing, I was trying and I was succeeding. Surprisingly enough,  the first time I fell because I couldn't get my foot out of the pedals, I found myself laughing, even with people all around me watching and seeing what I had done.

This blog is in some ways my new bike with clip in pedals. I'm nervous, a little shaky and feeling very vulnerable at letting you see me, but I hope my journey will encourage you to clip in, pedal and try as you ride on your own way.